Mom: The good thing about going somewhere and looking real tacky is that they don't all swarm around me and try to help...although....that little guy at the furniture store was just about to have an orgasm he was so excited!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Caroline: These little Asian people at the festival forced me to get a massage and then they wouldn't stop rubbing my butt.
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Aunt Gladys (age 90): Oooh! What color pants should I wear with this?!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Natalie: Your hair IS darker.
Amy: YEah. It makes me feel sassy like my Natalie.
Natalie: I don't usually feel sassy...just a little snobby.
#################################
Natalie: I am SO not into the faux fur movement.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
guy at party: This bitch sucked out both of my nipple rings when I was giving her a lap dance
(he raised his shirt to prove it)
____________________
Casey #2 at party: That guy wouldn't know a naked cousin in a wheat field.
######################
Mom: Who was that lady waiving at me?
Amy: It was somebody's mom.
CJ: Yeah...Kelli?
Amy: Logan.
Mom: Well...I had no idea who she was, but she was waiving so big I figured she must be my friend...or just really really want to be.
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