Dad: Sure...I'll go pick it up...I just need you to give me a little money, honey.
Mom: You don't need money...you just sign for it and charge it to the law office.
Dad: Damn! I'm that big a deal?
*******************************************
(at work...staffing cases with the people from Mental Health Mental Retardation and our supervisors...Karlee works with MHMR)
Amy: yeah. yeah...he's doing fine. He just smells like ass.
Karlee: I'm gonna put that right into his file.
################################
Debra (another probation officer): If that bitch puts her makeup on in the dark one more time....
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Karlee: So...he went and turned himself into jail and he had a big ole baggie of weed in his pocket.
Amy: Awesome...guy's a rocket scientist!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(guy tells about all the problems with a program at MHMR)
Karlee: So...in your experience...would it be just a big, huge cluster fuck to refer him right now?
###############################
Amy: He always comes to the door in sponge bob boxers.
Karlee: yeah...and all I can think is "Jesus! Sponge Bob's nose is really big right now!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Karlee: I held a donkey once. I really really like donkeys.
Darrin (her boss): Hmmm...I bet donkey smells like ass.
##############################
Amy: You'll never believe!! **** is dating a woman! Our whole caseload is full of big, ugly lesbians. Do you think somebody's doing that on purpose?
Karlee: No...I think there's something in the water! And...if you're big, ugly, dykey and crazy...you want to come to Karlee and Amy. Shit! I'm going to go home and thank Jessica for not being a big, ugly lesbian.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
Mexico madness and some extra goodness
Mich: I hope that bitch dates a big old fag and he leaves her for a dude!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Kristen: I'm so proud of you in Spanish for taking a chance. So proud. SO spanish.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(Amy's defendant works at a nursing home)
Amy: Good morning! How are you?!
D: Well...I'm fine...I'm just tired of cleaning the booties...you know...it's bad enough just to have to clean my own!
******************************************
(Another Defendant on my mental health caseload with some BIG mental issues)
D: I really hate the full moon...let me tell you...we crazy friends just get WAY crazier!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Boy at gay boy frat party: (About Bethy) I'm really attracted to her...I really think it's hot when girls hang out with lesbians and look kind of like lesbians...but I can tell she might also be into cock. hot.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Amy: Hmm..I might be a little tipsy.
Lora: Hmmm...I might be HAMMERED!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Bethy: I'm going to have two jobs next semester, Court.
CJ: Big Deal... Good for you. You're not bipolar.
Bethy: Yeah...but the doc says I'm hyper-vigilant
CJ: Woah.
Bethy: It just means I'm neurotic and I worry a lot.
Amy: Don't we all.
Bethy: Yeah...but hyper-vigilant makes me sound like a gladiator.
************************************
Amy: I really like her...I hope her life gets better.
Karlee: Yeah...maybe it will...she needs to be pregnant with that baby about like she needs an asshole on her elbow.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Amy: I'm really hating MySpace.
Bethy: I think it's just a waste of my...space.
##############################
Caroline: You don't mind if I smoke in here?
Party hostess: No...just don't expect me to join in...I'm old and lame.
Caroline: Yeah...like Amy.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(uber-sarcastic)
Mom: Good story Beth. You told it awesome.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Natalie: So...the thing about marriage is...after a while, you need something else to distract you.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Peniel: Is that the wind?!
Natalie: No...it's Amy's nose whistle.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isaac: You want me to show you a manly lesbian?! I can show you some manly lesbians...in a place called Mexico!
###########################
Natalie: Isaac doesn't like our singing.
Amy: We're just rejoicing!
(singing Hark the Harold Angels...sounding like angels)
Amy: Aye! I found my badge!
Natalie: It's because we were singing about Jesus.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Natalie: A woman without collar bones is like swiss cheese without the holes.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Amy: what the hell is that?!
Isaac: Oh...it's just a pyramid.
Amy: Woah...I spaced out...are we in egypt!?!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
(mexico decorations)
Amy: Hmm...they're very liberal with the tinsel.
________________________
Natalie: Oh I can eat me some corn tortillas...I can eat the heck out of them!
#########################
Amy: What are you doing?!
Isaac: I'm looking for a treasure.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Natalie: you know...some of these houses have a real funk to them.
*****************************
Melissa: I'm gonna get a hunger pain and it's going to fuck you up.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Isaac: Pass me that gun and that coke.
Amy: Suddenly I feel like we're in Colombia instead of Mexico.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Kristen: I'm so proud of you in Spanish for taking a chance. So proud. SO spanish.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(Amy's defendant works at a nursing home)
Amy: Good morning! How are you?!
D: Well...I'm fine...I'm just tired of cleaning the booties...you know...it's bad enough just to have to clean my own!
******************************************
(Another Defendant on my mental health caseload with some BIG mental issues)
D: I really hate the full moon...let me tell you...we crazy friends just get WAY crazier!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Boy at gay boy frat party: (About Bethy) I'm really attracted to her...I really think it's hot when girls hang out with lesbians and look kind of like lesbians...but I can tell she might also be into cock. hot.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Amy: Hmm..I might be a little tipsy.
Lora: Hmmm...I might be HAMMERED!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Bethy: I'm going to have two jobs next semester, Court.
CJ: Big Deal... Good for you. You're not bipolar.
Bethy: Yeah...but the doc says I'm hyper-vigilant
CJ: Woah.
Bethy: It just means I'm neurotic and I worry a lot.
Amy: Don't we all.
Bethy: Yeah...but hyper-vigilant makes me sound like a gladiator.
************************************
Amy: I really like her...I hope her life gets better.
Karlee: Yeah...maybe it will...she needs to be pregnant with that baby about like she needs an asshole on her elbow.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Amy: I'm really hating MySpace.
Bethy: I think it's just a waste of my...space.
##############################
Caroline: You don't mind if I smoke in here?
Party hostess: No...just don't expect me to join in...I'm old and lame.
Caroline: Yeah...like Amy.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(uber-sarcastic)
Mom: Good story Beth. You told it awesome.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Natalie: So...the thing about marriage is...after a while, you need something else to distract you.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Peniel: Is that the wind?!
Natalie: No...it's Amy's nose whistle.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isaac: You want me to show you a manly lesbian?! I can show you some manly lesbians...in a place called Mexico!
###########################
Natalie: Isaac doesn't like our singing.
Amy: We're just rejoicing!
(singing Hark the Harold Angels...sounding like angels)
Amy: Aye! I found my badge!
Natalie: It's because we were singing about Jesus.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Natalie: A woman without collar bones is like swiss cheese without the holes.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Amy: what the hell is that?!
Isaac: Oh...it's just a pyramid.
Amy: Woah...I spaced out...are we in egypt!?!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
(mexico decorations)
Amy: Hmm...they're very liberal with the tinsel.
________________________
Natalie: Oh I can eat me some corn tortillas...I can eat the heck out of them!
#########################
Amy: What are you doing?!
Isaac: I'm looking for a treasure.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Natalie: you know...some of these houses have a real funk to them.
*****************************
Melissa: I'm gonna get a hunger pain and it's going to fuck you up.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Isaac: Pass me that gun and that coke.
Amy: Suddenly I feel like we're in Colombia instead of Mexico.
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