Thursday, February 16, 2006

non-native speakers

Amy: what happens when planes don't go?
Caroline: People stay.

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(trying FOREVER to find new screensaver)
Caroline: OH! I know what I like!! Pop Culture!!

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(about horrible roommate...there's a hole in the ceiling, so it feels like she's always in the same room)
Amy: What the fuck? Is English her second language?
Caroline: Who knows! She'll never tell anyone where she's really from.
Amy: She likes the stupidist shit.

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Amy: Come here.
Caroline: Uh. You don't want what's in my mouth. It came from my body.

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(at work meeting about defendants...a bunch of probation officers and mental health caseworkers)
Officer 1: Look...I appreciate your input but you need to keep it to a minimum and close your damn mouth.
Amy: Woah...she told you to shut the hell up.
Caseworker 1: Who did what to the chicken?

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Officer 2: He's obsessed with his mom. Get him off that titty!

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Officer 2: Who want to lay with him...dusty, dirty, funky, nasty ass.

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