Good times in the Homeland.!

Dad: Of all my daughters, the one that's most likely to plug someone is you, Amy
Courtney: Dad! I take offense!
Dad: well...okay...maybe you. But Bethy...she's more of a sword person.

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(Courtney attacks Amy while yelling "bitch or bitchier?! bitch or bitchier?!!?!?!")
C: Laugh! I tickled you, damnit!!

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C: Amy's in charge! It's her party.
Dad: I'm in charge! I'm the kegmaster.

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(go into bar, everybody is getting ID checks)
Ernest: Mine's on a stone tablet..is that okay?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Charis: There are three drawers in Karlee's house that I haven't gone through yet.


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Charis (About the pasties she's wearing): I bought the black ones because they were three dollars cheaper.


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Ernest: So...it seems like a pasty is really just a titty hat...

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Ernest: There was this one time at the zoo..at this penguin exhibit...I needed a penis pasty.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(about her tattoo)
Charis: I got it in a Winnebago at a Harley Rally.

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Amy: I could sell this Adderall.
Courtney: I could sell my Seroquel.
Bethy: Yeah..but you probably shouldn't get into drug dealing...our family has enough on our plates.

Dirty girls

Mom: Did you see how she was dressed today?
Bethy: Yes! She was cute!
CJ: I was cute...but I was WAY over-dressed! That's why I had to go buy two new pairs of shoes!

********************************
CJ: Look at these shorts! They say "No boys allowed!"
Bethy: Amy should wear them.

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Mom: She had something all over all of her clothes.
CJ: Maybe sweat?
Mom: No! Vomit. There was just tons of vomit on all of her dirty clothes. She tries to say that it was cheese.
Bethy: It was! There was queso on some pants.
Mom: Disgusting. I'm going to call you Vomit Banks.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(watching National Spelling Bee)
Mom: I guarantee you these kids never get drink too much and get sick on their clothes.

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Mom: Huh! I remember that little nerd from last year.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Dad: Why do you all keep saying "Shave your ass" over and over again?

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