Gorgeous Frio River! 

Takin' it to the river

(Mom hates the show, Charmed...but it's SO fun when we make her talk about it)
Mom: Whitelighter? Hmm...I bet I have my own.
CJ: I'm sure you do.
Mom: But I bet I don't call him a whitelighter.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Amy: Hey dad! What are you up to in here all alone?
Dad: Just watching my show about the Charmed ones.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Caroline: Perry went to a girl's birthday party yesterday, threw cake in her face, and made the birthday girl cry!!
Girl sitting super close to all at the table: Um...yeah...that was me.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amy: what other funny stuff has been said lately?
Bethy: Well...I've been a laugh a minute!!

There ARE some days when I don't hate my job...

Deborah (another Probation Officer): Hmmm...Do you ever just look at him like he could be a GREAT sex offender?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Deborah: He wants to be a preacher.
Darrin: So...this guy's either going to be a sex offender or a preacher?
Karlee: He's not a Catholic I hope...Oh...sorry...so sorry...that slipped out.

##############################

Karlee: You can't hide crazy.
Deborah: You can't hide crazy...and you sure can't hide ugly.

############################

Amy (to defendant): If you don't know her name, she's NOT your girlfriend!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Deborah: He's not a bad looking guy.
Amy: Yeah...his mom's not that ugly when she's got her teeth in

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Big, nasty, oxygen-wearing, MHMR-going, Defendant: Amy...come on, get mad at me! I'll bet you're so cute when you get mad!


**************************************

Defendant: I swear! The only drugs I use are the ones Karlee gives me.

Betho Redux

Mom: Go get the dirty clothes.
Bethy: Well...what about the Vegas birthday
Mom: I'm not taking anybody to Vegas that's a PIG!!
Bethy: Mom....you and I are going to TRASH that hotel room...when we come back raging drunk with the strippers!


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Bethy: You know...the thing about me is, I never smell bad.
CJ: Me neither.
Amy: Court!
CJ: Well...my body always smells fresh...even when I don't bathe for a while.
Bethy: Yeah! Me too!
CJ: Maybe it runs in the family...a sister thing... Except for Amy, we don't really know about her...she bathes too much...you'd have to wait at least a couple of days to find out if you smell bad or not...well...maybe wait a week.

Lora's a Lawyer!!

Joseph: You want a little update on my life?
Lora: Yes!
Amy: Uh huh!
Joseph: Well...there are tomatoes and artichokes growing in my garden.

################################3

Lora's dad: Anytime I think about negative, I think about trying to teach Lora to drive stick.
Lora: You were the negative one. You made me walk home.
Lora dad: Just across the street.
Lora: You were just mad because you spilled your beer.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Joseph: I had to stop doing all the push-ups and sit-ups because of my chromioclavicular disorder.

###############################3

A: I think I have a tapeworm.
J: that'd be GREAT!!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

(Joseph and Amy stuck in the back of the car)
Joseph: You are the most feeble young people I know. The three of you just staring at us.
Cassie: Nope. I wasn't looking at you.
A: Cassie wasn't even thinking about helping us.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amy: I act like I'm the beer martyr and doing all the work...really I just stand here while Joseph pours and Lindy passes them out.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Dan: My real dream was to get the...
Dan and Lindy: Shrunken OED!!!
Joseph: Everyone wants an OED. I love to read dictionaries and encyclopedias.
Lora: We didn't have encyclopedias when I was little
Lora dad: You didn't need them. You were too smart.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Joseph: Dad's gotten really funny when we hang up the phone. He says, 'god bless you' so I say "maybe"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Cassie: Is there really alcohol in this?!
Joseph: Yeah!
Cassie: I love it!!
JosephL Yeah! I find a way to feed our driver drinks.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Lora's mom: He just doesn't know when to quit!
Lora: being a stewardess?
Lora's mom: Honey...they don't call them stewardesses when they're males.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Lora Dad: Now we say stewarder instead of stewardess.
Lora: Or...steward.

**************************

Lora's Dad: I got tired of hearing her complain about her feet hurting.
Amy: Yeah...she does bitch a LOT!

#####################

Lora: I've got two extra summer dresses if anyone wants them.
Lora's dad: probably too short for me.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Lora: she's scary!
lora's mom: she is!
Lora: She likes it.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Lora: Have I really been that awful?
Everybody: no no no no!
Amy: well...a little bit...

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Joseph: It's so different being around different vegetation.
Lora: you LOVE plants!
Lindy: Amy! write it down.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Cassie: You can't do the robot to hip hop!
Joseph: yes you can. Either that or African Dance...I know that too.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Joseph: I don't need extra insecurities cassie!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Joseph: She could be...
Amy: Well...anybody could be...
Joseph: Yeah...but she looks like she's open to being touched by female hands.

###############

Dan: You are en fuego!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Amy: I need a nap!
Joseph: Me too. right now!
Lora: this hot car feels so good!
Lindy: Yeah! It's napalicious!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

(to Joseph)
Lora: Sometimes you say the wrong thing.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Joseph: You're a beautiful dancer.
Amy: You dance like Jesus sings.
Lora: do you hear Jesus sing?
Amy: "Aaaammmyyy! You're my favorite!"

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4

Amy: Lindy! That was the biggest poor ever!
Cassie: You might as well have poured the whole glass in.

***********************

Amy: can you believe you're graduation from law school?
dan: Big fucking deal!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(Dean asks everyone that's a thread in the tapestry of graduates' lives to stand up...none of us move.)
Joseph: Im a thread! I'm a thread! I'm a thread!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Lora: Is my little cassie drinking wine?
Amy: She's getting crunk.

#################

(talking about getting a cat)
Usthma: I thought...I'm stuck with that until it dies...then I thouhgt...I know what guys feel like!

#################

(re: mom missing graduation)
Usthma: she said, I'll come home, we'll go shopping. and then I'm like "we're not that rich...it'd take a house in the Hamptons to make this okay."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Michelle: These pants are really low...if anyone makes pants any lower I'm going to have to...
Cassie: shave!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Joseph: You've never seen this music video?
cassie: I don't watch videos! I make my own!!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Usthma: I can't dance. I'm sober.
Amy: Get over it. Everybody's sober.
Joseph: I'm not.
Amy: Yeah...me neither.

Food, fun, and babies on the way

(re: Starbucks sponsorship of my new favorited movie, Akeela and The Bee)
Caroline: I'm really thrilled that Starbucks took an interest in the the ghetto youth.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Amy: what are ya'll fighting about?
Tricia: Doin' it.

############################

(T is pregnant, Rob is the proud papa)
Rob: I'm going to look at moy by and fight with my boy and do things with my boy...and...
Tricia: And what if it's a girl?
Rob: You don't know...all you had to do was lay there.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Karlee: My mom had me when she was thirty-eight and I'm fine.
Amy: Said the pothead lesbian.

#############################

Karlee: So...are you so scared of being on the blog that you don't want to talk anymore tonight?
Charis: Just refer to me as Mother Theresa.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Lora: AND... I discovered that they don't make designer jeans big enough to fit my body. It was horrible! I need a food nazi in my life!

####################################

Charis (Mother T): I really shouldn't hold kids when I'm that drunk.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karlee: I talk in my sleep. I say stuff like "chicken biscuit" and "Funnel cake"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Karlee: The nurse lady yelled "Oh my goodness" when I got on the scale...so fuck all ya'll.

#############################

Amy: Alice never wants to go to the bathroom outside. I mean...I don't blame her...me neither!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Important editor's note:
1) Jessica said two things Saturday night that must have been hilarious, but I was a little too fucked up to write them so I could read them...damnation!
2) Ernest (who made the classic comment about the food fighting in his stomach) no longer has a mullet!